考博作文批改范例一

考博批改范例： 8;,(D#p  
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Keeping Healthy （題目是固定的，不要隨便更改，用給出的題目good health） 0ARj3
 
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With the sharply quickening economy(這句話的表達很別扭，不符合語法結構，可以改成with the fast development of economy), both the (這里沒有特指，所以刪掉定冠詞)students and people who has （注意主謂一致，用have）been aready （拼寫錯誤）working for a long time confront much heavier burden than before. Mojority （拼寫錯誤）of them have to keep tightening （這里表示高度集中用keep concentrating）all the time so that they have no time care ( to care) their health. however(注意句首要大寫), it is significant to prevent us from illness because a perfect body could be a necessary tool for a successful creer（拼寫career）. LaIH3!M3  
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In my veiw（拼寫）, much can be done to kee （拼寫）fit. on（注意大寫） the one hand, when we finish the work, making some practice （做些運動用doing some exercises更好）is a good way to burn the energy（不應該是消耗你的精力，充其量也就是脂肪吧，所以不如直接寫keep fit好一點）. We should keep（keep沒有花費時間的用法，用spend time in doing） at least half an hour doing some sports. A wonderful body can give us a (精神不可數，所以刪掉冠詞，不定冠詞只用在可數名詞單數前面)good spirit. On the other hand, a rational diet is another measure to keep not only healthy but also beautiful.  {0} Q5  
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For myself（用賓格形式me）, swimming and running are the main exercese (注意拼寫，用復數形式). Usually, I do not eat much high energy food like KFC. In a word, a good health is the most important for every one. <:0d%YB)  
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點評： ;1woTAuD  
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　　第一段的內容過多，而且第一段不必要舉例說明某個人群需要健康，每人都需要健康。所以第一段你只要敘述健康的重要性就可以了。第二段和第三段的寫作內容還是比較成功的，只是里面有好多的語法錯誤以及馬虎造成的拼寫錯誤導致失分嚴重，今后寫作一定要注意。繼續努力！ g:>Mooxzi  
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