考博作文批改范例二

考博作文批改范例： I|RN/RVN  
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Good Health M$FXDyr  
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  The desire for good health is universal. Not only man or woman, but also old or young are hope have good health with social progress. （第一句已經說了渴望健康是人人都有的。所以第二句話明顯是多余的。只不過是把第一句話解釋了一下。很羅嗦。）Owing to it is a essential require to high quality study,work or life.（這句話的語法結構不正確，應該是good health is essential to us. ） Wq0h3AjR  
  There are many ways to keep fit. For exampel (注意拼寫錯誤), on（in） the first place, we could take some physical exercises .We can run,swim , play tennis or others. On (in)the second place, we shoud (should,拼寫) balance diet, （改成句號，后面注意大寫）we eat meat, rice, vegetables and friut （拼寫）every day. Of cause, we do not forget to drink water, it is important to you（前面用的代詞we,這里卻用了you,一定要保持人稱代詞一致，否則會出現混亂。）. Finally, we shoud （拼寫）keep a nice mood. f<xF+wE  
   As a college student, when I have free time ,I often take pyhsical （拼寫）exercises, sometimes I runs （主謂要一致）alone the racetrack, sometimes rids （拼寫錯誤）bicycle on the street. I am also careful with my diet and I often drinks white water. on the whole, it is important to have good health than everthing（拼寫）. 4S 2I]d  
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點評： L}nj#z4g  
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　　首先，第一段要寫健康的重要性，你寫的過于籠統。語言方面，注意拼寫錯誤，注意主謂一致，文中有多處主謂一致問題，不在一一指出，望今后加以注意。注意人稱代詞要一致的問題。注意標點符號的正確使用。加油！繼續努力！ vMzR3@4e  
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