考博作文批改案例三

考博作文批改范例： gieso
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Good Health (W[]}k;  
The desire for good health is universal. Everyone wish（注意主謂一致） to have a healthy body cause （because） the（刪掉） health is the most important. It can give us drival （刪掉）strength. 5as5{"l  
In the society, many people don't to（刪掉） pay much attention to their health. In my opinion, we can through eating to become ours.（這句話的意思是？） It is the best way to keep our （刪掉）fit and save our money. As everyones known（as everyone knows）, the vegetables are a lot better at the health than the meals(改成vegetables are much healthier than meat). There is much (there are many) vitamins in it. The water is more important and the base on our  life(刪掉，改成for our life). We shoule (拼寫)drink eight cups of the （刪掉定冠詞）water everyday. Therefore we can full of the life （be full of energy）through the method. Q`-Xx  
As a university student, I have not much work. So I can do many excises usually in my free time. Such as swimming, running and badminton.(這不是一句完整的話，不能用句號結束，可以和前面一起連成一句話) Many practices can not only keep our（刪掉） fit but also keep our body line（slim）. It is very well (good)to a girl. This is my method of keeping health. x>T+k8[n  
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點評： IaO&f<^#o  
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　文章的結構安排還是比較合理的，但是內容不夠充實，比較散亂。一定要加強句子之間的邏輯性。注意語法結構的正確使用。注意避免拼寫錯誤。繼續努力，加油！ Ya!PV&"Z  
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