考博作文批改范例四

考博作文批改范例： w]b3,b  
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Fruit should be eaten or not? " N)dle,  
In this article, the author discusses the function of fruit and the reason that(改成用why來引導表示原因的定語從句)  Vitamins could not instead of（用動詞詞組，take place of…來代替，注意語法結構的完整）  fruit. Fruit are benefit（用形容詞形式）  for health due to containing necessary miners which could not be formed, Vitamins which can prevent cell growing old and soluble fiber（這部分想表達的是？語義不明確）.  American（這里加上scientists作主語）  concluded earlier that fruit can prevent diseases. Some researches firmed that eating more fruit and vegetable can descend the incidence of stroke and heart disesea （拼寫錯誤）. km1{Oh  
Why do not oraling（這里是想表達？）  Vitamins instead of fruit? Some nutritionist explained that the Vitamins in natural plants play parts with other nutritions（用單數形式） . Moreover, it is probably that fruit and vegetable could contain some unknown active substances. Xx_v>Jn!  
In conclusion, fruit should be the major part of dairy diets of everyday life. For common person, to oral Vitamins could not instead of to eat （用動詞詞組take place of….） fruit and vegetable. In addition, eating much (too many,修飾可數名詞) Vitamins can result in some side effects. For patients should supply to some Vitamins. Kh<xQ:eMy  
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點評： J-t5kU;L{  
　　滿分20分，可以得到9-10分 /QDlm>FM4  
　　文章還是有一些問題的，主要體現在以下幾個方面： R7: >'*F  
　　內容上，這是一篇摘要，要歸納總結原文的重要信息，但是目前你的文章還是漏掉了一些原文的信息。還有一些內容表達的不夠清楚，致使分數下降。 '\qd{mM\r  
　　語言方面，除了馬虎造成的拼寫錯誤，還有單詞的用法需要注意，還有注意語法結構以及語言結構的完整，注意邏輯要通順。 iM;7V*u  
　　建議你把這個范文在認真看看，最起碼考前把這些相關詞的用法在溫習一遍，考試的時候可以先用這些你比較有把握的詞。 t(69gF\"  
　　加油！ f\O)+Vc  
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